lent: develop your interiority & refurbish your soul.

And now it’s time for Lent, the part of the liturgical year that will either transform you or annoy the heck out of you, depending on the posture of your heart.

Growing up, we observed Lent as a family every year, always doing the family sacrifices of no sugar or movies, and some of us dealt with it better than others. One year in particular, one little brother complained all through Lent and then on Easter, my mom joyfully told him, “It’s Easter!! Jesus is risen!!”  And he said, “When can we have Him over for dinner?!”

Heading into Lent this year, on the heels of completing Exodus 90 (10/10 recommend), I’m more aware than ever before of the power of fasting and self-denial. I’ve realized how much I’ve thought of things as “impossible” or “not for me”, and Lent was definitely one of them.

I don’t like self-denial, but I guess that’s kind of the point. There’s a lot of Lenten resources out there, but if you’re looking to make Lent easy, well, you’re going to end up just not doing Lent. 

My theme for Lent 2020 is inspired by these words: “Develop your own interiority. Refurbish your soul.”

A wise, beautiful soul of Fr. Romanus Cessario spoke this at mass on Sunday, talking about the need to call upon Jesus’s presence to take over our souls, should we hope to overcome any temptation or struggle.

The necessity of internal, interior conversation with Him is real. The beauty of the secret place, that cultivated spiritual garden, where He wants to meet us, is profound. This is what Lent is: developing interiority and refurbishing the soul. It's clearing out, once again, what was never meant for us, and refurbishing it with the Presence of God.

Lent is important because it’s an opportunity to take a personal retreat. There really is tangible grace in this season, and we make space to journey with Jesus.

Maybe it’s timely for your season. You’re ready to enter into the somberness of Lent, you’re ready to cry with the Lord, and you’re already broken with Him.

There is more. Let me challenge you, if I may: I’ve experienced Lents where I’ve been heartbroken going in, and I spend the whole gosh-darn time sulking and sitting in my heartbreak. YOU are meant for more than that. 

And then even when Jesus rises from the dead (and presumably comes for dinner) at the end, I don't even notice, because all I know is the in's and out's of my own suffering, rather than the depth of His heart for me.

It is so good to be honest with the Father, to express our hurt, to vocalize disappointment, and to have honest hearts. However, we often forget about the point of this raw honesty: we give it to Him to be transformed, not to sit in hurt. We are not meant for hurt, we are made to be healed. 

So, if this is a heartbreak Lent for you, be honest with Jesus. And walk in healing. Walk in His promises. Trust isn’t an emotion, just like Lent isn’t a time for depression. Trust is a choice, and Lent brings authentic joy, even when there’s mourning.

The other Lent attitude may be that you’re too busy-- you’ve been vibing along totally fine, and you’re just busy and your life is full and all over the place. There’s more for you, too.

Lent is not something the Church presents to suffer just for suffering’s sake; rather, it’s a beautiful invitation to remember who we are, and to remember why we are. Lent is an opportunity for healing and for freedom, and it takes slowing down, reaching in, and offering it up. From this place, we find His Presence.

So, if you don’t feel like Lent right now: good, that means you super-need it. If you don’t have time: give up social media, then you’ll have more. If you’ve never taken Lent seriously before: welcome, friend. If you *literally cannot* fast: you gon’ learn today, homie.

Here’s what I humbly suggest for this Lent:

Give something up. I’ve read a lot over the years around this time of why you shouldn’t actually give up or sugar or social media, and how you should do something that benefits you spiritually. That mentality totally fits into this whole “millennial” (Actually, human. I think we keep callings things “millennial” when we should say “concupiscent human nature.”) mentality of the need to be able to produce and calculate results as soon as possible. 

I went without sugar for 90 days when I did Exodus, and I didn’t think that I was addicted to sugar or anything. And I really wasn't-- I didn’t usually have it every day (besides coffee creamer) and I never drink pop (Pop. Not soda.) or have chocolate in my room. However, I could name at least fifteen moments (just moments!) in those 90 days where it was so. so. so. so. so hard. I realized that even if it wasn’t an all the time habit, I definitely have made an idol out of sugar sometimes, going to it when I was emotional.

Same thing happened with social media, alcohol, and a bunch of other things that I had the opportunity to go without for that time period. I didn’t think I was attached, and compared to other people, I was doing pretty well. But when you’re out to dinner and everyone’s getting drinks and you can’t....boy, do those graces flow.

If we compare ourselves to the lowest standard of the people around us, we will sit complacent forever and never grow in holiness. We can look at our lives and say, “Eh. It’s not that bad. I’m not that attached.” OR we can look at our lives and say, “I want a FULL heart conversion, a FULL letting go of any sort of idols or any sort of worship I’m doing at the altar of anything that is not Jesus.”

So, give something up, and give it up for an intention. I fasted for healing for the Church for 90 days, among other things. When it was hard, that’s what kept me going. Realize that when you give something up, you’re being changed. It’s an opportunity to encounter Jesus in a space in your heart that might be filled with something else right now.

I’ve heard people discouraged from doing things for the sake of health in Lent. I disagree, because Jesus cared about the whole person, but it’s all about (again) heart posture. Give up sugar (or workout more, or don’t eat between meals, or whatever), because you’re a temple of the Holy Spirit, and let it about the transformation of your heart as well as your body.

Do something new and let it be simple. I love love love Mama Mary, and I struggle to pray the whole rosary often. When I think about praying the rosary, my brain thinks that it’s going to require so much energy and be like 100 hours. So I’m committing to that every day in Lent (if you happen to know me and see me, please ask me about this so that I am held accountable to keep doing it). 

Maybe think about some devotion or prayer of the Church that you think is a really nice thing to do, but that you don’t currently do. Do an Examination of Conscience every night, or pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, or pray the Liturgy of the Hours, or pray the Litany of Humility, spend time in adoration, or do some praise and worship on your own. The Church doesn’t offer us things that waste our time; so anticipate the graces to flow and impact your life.

Share the graces! Cultivate community in Lent. It’s about your heart, but reach out to a sista or a brotha and ask how they’re doing and how they’re encountering the Lord. Particularly if you’re on a Catholic college campus, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t be able to talk about it, because you all should be doing it. 

And if you’re not in a Catholic community, commit to grabbing coffee a couple times throughout the course of Lent with some people you want to do life with. Send a text, pick up the phone, whatever-- let’s multiply the grace by sharing it with each other.

“Develop your own interiority. Refurbish your soul.”

It’s time, friends. Our interior lives are so often messy and damaged, and Jesus desires to restore us. Our hearts and minds are often a place where we find a war waged against us; let’s find truth again. Let’s remember who we are this Lent, and let our hearts become a place of encounter. Ridding ourselves of doubt, fear, suspicion, and self-hatred-- let’s turn to the Father and let Him take us deeper.

I’m getting exciting writing this. Lent, BRING IT. There’s so much grace that’s going to abound in your life. I’m praying for you, and I’d love to hear what the Lord is calling you to do for Lent!

Let's get ready to celebrate big at Easter, because we will have grown so much, and we will be more free and closer to Him. Time to die; to redevelop and refurbish.