are you afraid of order?

We wage war against disorder by cultivating order in our physical and spiritual environments.

Bam, we're hitting this week hard, right out of the gates. The world isn't slowing down for us-- headlines continue to roll out, inducing fear and despair and just a general WHAT the heck is going on feeling. Out of control, we often seek comfort of heart before we seek conversion of heart.

This past year has been a big one for me in cultivating order. Almost a year ago, my now-fiance decided to do Exodus 90 for a second time, and I ended up deciding to also embark on the adventure with a group of women. Strangely enough, I was nearly SLEEPLESS the night before because I was so afraid to begin to cultivate a workout schedule.

Up until this point, there were certain aspects of physical health that I just...didn't feel called to. Working out was like a spirituality that I didn't relate to, or that's how I saw it. I was pursuing holiness on my own; having awesome encounters with Jesus in the chapel on my time, and preaching His word in ways that were bearing a lot of fruit. Having a scheduled prayer time, too, was something that I didn't "feel called to"-- I didn't want to restrict the spontinaity of the Spirit.

At least, these were things that I told myself. I didn't need to adopt certain spiritual practices, or at least do them every day, because I wanted to give Jesus the freedom to speak to me.

If you are nodding your head in agreement with me, let me tell you-- I was so wrong, you're so wrong, and let me share freedom with you.

Turns out, I was afraid of working out because I had been told so many times how athletic I was. I was afraid of working out because I had been emotionally wounded by comparison; I thought that I could never be good at it, so I just should never do it.

I didn't want to set a time every day to pray because I was being lazy. Also, this stemmed from a desire to control my time, and to be stingy with it.

You can't be serious about holiness without being serious about discipline, I've found. And discipline? It often requires discomfort. Discomfort is unavoidable if you wish to "put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the desires of the flesh"(Romans 13:14).

What this all really comes down to is the reality that Jesus Christ dignified the human body. He redeemed the physical, showing us that we're not merely souls with bodies, but that we're body-soul, together. Our bodies and souls directly affect each other. Once, I was miraculously healed of a foot injury once I was able to forgive someone. I've seen healings like that happen to so many people.

I think, for those of us who have been exposed to healing ministry in particular, it's almost easier to get on board with that, than it is to get on board with the need to consistently.

Friends, it's not just about a one-time prayer that results in holiness. It's not merely about Mass on Sunday, even as it's the highest prayer. It's about the overflow: is your bed made? Did you wipe down your kitchen counter? Does your mom need help? Have you worked out today?

It's all connected.

I've heard a story of a well-known priest who worked at a Catholic university, who had so many young adults coming up to him about the "spiritual attack" that they were experiencing. His first questions to them were: how many hours are you sleeping? How much water are you drinking? Is there physical order in your life?

People ask me all the time how to hear Father's voice. Here's my answer: make space for Him.

This comes about in disciplining our bodies to an order than is greater than desire. The commitment to getting up every day at the same time, not going to bed super late, choosing to eat well, being disciplined to do whatever it is that we thought we couldn't...whether that's blogging consistently or working out, go to that place. He blesses our commitment to discipline.

We don't get to decide what's good for us before God does. You, dear brother or sister, are not an exception to the rules of humanity. He calls us to be stewards of the physical-- our physical environments affect our spiritual environments. Isn't that beautiful?

You do have control, in this way. So, if you've felt tossed around by the waves of dispair, fear, anxiety, or deppression:

Make your bed.

Work out.

Vaccuum your floor.

Drink water.

Put your phone down.

Have structured prayer time. There have been times in the past that I go into prayer, and the whole time I'm simply gauging what is getting me emotional. That is so not what prayer is about. There's a reason why the Church gives us such beautiful things: the Rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, Liturgy of the Hours...there's grace in these things. I encourage you to adopt a new spiritual practice! Right now, my prayer time looks like praying the Liturgy of the Hours first thing in the morning, and then worshiping with an Upperroom song, and then diving into scripture and journaling about where I'm seeing the Lord, and where I want Him to touch my heart.

I am not writing this from a point of perfection. I'm writing this because I will be the patron saint of being in a funk. I am such an emotional person, and too often, I've simply sat in that funk, in the disorder of my body and soul, and waited for it to go away.

When we get all caught up in the supernatural, we often forget the natural. Don't forget the natural. Friends, let's be serious about growth more than just reading a daily devotional, and let's make our beds.

You want to change the world? Change your world by honoring the physical well. We don't worship order; you probably shouldn't work out for two hours when you've never worked out in your life, or not allow your heart to experience peace until you scrub your floors every day. But look at your life honestly, and see where perhaps you're called to cultivate greater discipline. And go there.

I also understand that the enemy can work in extremes, and that perhaps your struggle has been to the opposite extreme: of an addiction to order, where you've found your identity and peace in making sure all the boxes are checked before you can experience any sort of satisfaction. The Lord wants to heal that in you, but it doesn't come from throwing structure out completely; it comes in setting attainable goals for order, giving it to the Lord, and moving on.

Structure is necessary for our hearts, and we've thrown it out, because we think we know what we need more than God does.

The big moments of discipleship are exciting.

But you position yourself for deeper healing, fuller encounter, and greater intimacy with Jesus by the position of your heart. We respond to the grace which grows our hearts by being good stewards of what's around us.

When I was little, my brothers were obsessed with Star Wars. Like any good ministry dad, my father lost no time in making Theological parallels. He would often talk about how Luke Skywalker's ultimate challenge is self-control: would he give into his emotions and go to the Dark Side, or would he remain in what he knew to be true, beyond emotion, and stay with the Jedi?

That simple truth affects everything.

Our hearts encounter the Lord in moments far beyond us, when we are faithful to honor our bodies and physical environments. We cultivate self-control in the big moments by cultivating it in the seemingly mundane.

There's a disordered world outside of our doors. Human traffickers being uncovered, racism, riots, just so much darkness....

Those people who are responsible? It started with rejecting the simple lesson of self-discipline, and it spiraled. The enemy is the prince of darkness and disorder. Jesus is the King of order, of peace, of light.

Every action, you pick one side or another.

LET'S CHOOSE LIGHT! :) C'mon, peace cultivaters. Let's kick it up a notch and do this.